FRONT END

[Pai]

nie faerst (tag each other if you're investigating together so I don't skip one of you by accident! no worries tho 👍)
The next display case seemed to be a kind of device; it was on a spinning platform, and it was small and spherical. Slowly, blades began to expand in shifting plates, locking together to make a full length as the display spun. It would hold its position for a few seconds, and retract again.

The plaque on the glass read:

There was a small video screen showing its display; it seemed a kind of whip-sword. A humanoid-shaped silhouette wielded it in the video.


Jintii
"YRK! YRK! THEY'RE THE BEST! IF THEY CAN'T SING IT, NEITHER CAN THE REST! YEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH."

The Gru at the Yrk stall was enthusiastically chanting, long thin arms waving--all four of them--eagerly, especially as the human approached their stand.

"Hello, blue human! Interested in some top-quality Njoyiyrkë merchandise? Are you an aspiring fan? We've got a whole new line for current-era, and some vintage pieces behind the table here, too, all pre-48. Let me know if you need any help!"


Paps mari (tag each other if you're investigating together so I don't skip one of you by accident! no worries either 👍)
"What? You think we'd sell merch that says all hail ourselves? Do you humans have shirts like that? 'All hail humankind!', that's so messed up! Seriously? Wow. I can't even imagine what your society must be like. Horrifying. So close-minded. Have you really not adopted any other species into your culture?" The alien was really not seeming particularly fond of them now that the other had joined in. They looked to Ry. "Speak for yourself first! Yikes!"

They leaned in at the following demand, however. "My.. my what? Excuse me? Is this an insult?"


daekfire
"Well, o'course, whaddya think you got your ticket for?" the Quingee(?) grumbled, its deep voice rumbling in its... did it have a throat? "The show'll be Njoyiyrkë, obviously; you earth kin ain't never heard em sing? What, d'they got no en'nertainment down here? You kiddin' me? They'll show you a show, kid. Flashy lights, big stage, the looks, you name it. All kindsa glitz. Real big. You'd hafta be a nincompoop to not wanna go; half the quadrant'd kill to see 'em live."

[Jintii]

Tenor nodded in response to the Gru's enthusiastic cheering, his regular customer service smile slapped onto his face as he listened to what it had to say. No point in offending an existence if it wasn't clear to him what potential hazards there might be.

... era? That's strange. For as long as he knew, Earth functioned on measures such as decades and centuries... era was more of a thematic, historic term. Tenor wasn't really interested in the merch that the stand had to offer, but he was quite curious about how long Yrk might have been alive, if such terminology was used for "vintage" pieces.

"Pre-48? What's that?" Tenor asked in his soft tone as he smiled gently at the Gru. "I've never heard of a time period like that."

[faerst]

"Aw what the FUCK, they take all the weapons and then have this cool ass sword that they just show off?!" She quickly took out her phone and took pictures of the presumed weapon in both its active and passive states, as well as the plaque.

[Sent To: Hide, Elsa, Riku, Paige, Luka]
ok so theyve got some displays set up with like artifacts or something
and the first one was just like a rock
but one of these looks like a god damn SWORD
like FUCK
HOW COME THEY GET SWORDS AND WE DONT
THE HELL

An accompanying picture was sent and she put her phone away again. Lacy's eyes scanned the screen of the video for any further details on the item, and then looked over the plaque again. She squinted.

"It's weird that they've been so high and mighty about their technology and how advanced it is and stuff while they can't even bother to translate their labels on the stuff we're supposed to see...right? Like 'haha silly aliens' and whatever, but they've also been all like 'yes we're here to help with our superior technology' so like, whats the deal?"

[TEXTING: redrobyns | Kimi | shoujoubrave | Aussie ]

[nie]

[nie]

The video didn't faze him, though he did feel curious about the human who was wielding the sword--but didn't question it after realizing it simply could've been a disguised Gru.
"Yeah, I was thinking the same," Luka replied while ignoring the ping from his phone, "like, I would've expected--I don't know, not plaques? Ultra HD holograms screens, and when you say something it automatically translates it for you, yeah, definitively not this."

He rubbed the back of his neck. If he had to be honest, this whole setup was a bit boring, and he'd even go for disappointing. They had to be kidding he thought, or they had to be hiding something. He refused to believe aliens lived such a mundane, monotonous life--so Luka stepped in front of the Gru that was unfortunate enough to be closest to him, stopping them in their tracks. "Hey, hey. Tell me you guys are more interesting than all this," he waved at the displays made of glass, "stuff."

faerst

[daekfire]

"We've only ever had earth stuff." She was a little offended and found herself crossing her arms. "There was no stuff from other planets until you got here." Jeeze. The Gru just seemed kind of ignorant to her. How could they not know that none of their culture has been here before now?

"Saying stuff like that to people on Earth literally means nothing." Sye almost told the thing to get over itself but managed to hold her tongue before she did. Its accent was just making her nervous. "I guess I'll look forward to it now though."

She made her move then, even if she'd wanted to try and scope out the ticket boothes she'd probably be noticed right away considering she'd just been talking to a Gru in one. So instead she made her way over to the 'printy' merch table, might as well have a look while she was there, right?

[Pai]

Jintii
"Y'know, incarnations earlier than the 48th. I forget what they're up to now, the past few cycles have been kinda fuzzy; after all, I just sell the stuff. The vintage is more my specialty. You've never heard of the eras?" the alien tipped their head to the side in confusion, recalling that their Yrk mask doesn't emote. "Ohhh, right, you and your short Earth lives. Yeah, I kind of get that, but it's even shorter than most, right? Like 70 sun cycles? That's soooo sad."


faerst nie
"Huh?"

A trio of Gru wearing Yrk t-shirts stopped in their tracks upon being prompted by the human; one was spherical and rolled along the ground, but their head always stayed in the same place; the other had buzzing wings that hovered them just above the ground, and a visible endoskeleton (save for the part covered by the shirt); the third looked somewhat like something that had melted and hardened back together into stone, but they had antennae popping out from the top of their head(?).

"Actually, hey," the the spherical one prompted, approaching them. The hovering one followed, while the third continued off to the Yrk merch stand. "Listen, you have to be on my side, right? Pre-14 era Yrk was clearly better than post, right? Talk some sense into this one here, like, seriously."


daekfire
"YEAH, WHADDYOU KNOW, ANYWAY," the Quingee(?) called after her.

The Printy Merch stand was manned by a very unenthusiastic Gru, who seemed to be trying to melt into the floor--because of course they got stuck vending at the local planet merch stand, the worst, always; the Printy merch itself was a variety of... papers, all of which read (in english, for once) "NOBODY DOES IT BETTER". There were also some promotional buttons and stickers, but the paper seemed to be it. It was purchasable in single sheets, or entire reams tied up in bows.

[faerst]

"Wh- oh. OH. YEAH, yeah, toootally, everything from choreography to overall scoring thematics they had going on, right?? Like, that's when all the real classics were after all, and everything post-14 was just, like, Yrk trying to conform and all, don't you think? Like sure, Yrk sold more, but like, where's the fuckin' PASSION?!"

She had no idea what the fuck she was talking about, but she had an archive of every retort from every argument related to bands, music artists, and opinions on them, and she was not about to let them go to waste.

"Buuuut, I mean like, if post era-14 Yrk isn't your thing, why are you here in the first place, huh?" she asked, enunciating her question with the click of her tongue. She glanced up at Luka, "I mean, it's not like we get to see Yrk in concert like ever, so obviously we had to be here, but what are y'all's thoughts."

nie

[nie]

Luka glanced back at Lacy, questioning. Were they even talking about how devoted of a dancer Yrk was? "I mean," he nodded to the merch stands, "post-14 Yrk seems to do pretty good, aren't they? I don't know, just look at that. Their replica suits are killer."

He wouldn't let the occasion to learn more about Grus pass so easily, however; the plaques were useless and they had no means to tell if they were actually telling the truth. Currently, nothing was better than to actually ask an alien themselves.

He shrugged, "I'll admit though, I don't know lots. Hey, care to explain why you think pre-14 era Yrk was better?" Luka asked, with his friendliest and most charming smile drawn on his face. "Maybe I'll change my mind then."

faerst

[Jintii]

"Incarnations!?!" Tenor couldn't help but yelp in surprise. He was only looking for, perhaps, what "era" meant in Earth years, but it seems like the Gru had something way beyond that. The first thing that popped into mind was... Jesus. Don't think he's heard of incarnations otherwise... maybe he can send a quick text to one of his friends later, they might have slightly better interpretations of that.

Tenor took a quick moment to calm down. "No, definitely haven't heard of eras." Nor incarnations, for that matter. Tenor continued to smile at the Gru. "We... function on slightly different units, you see. I would love to see what you call vintage, though."

[Paps]

Ethan wasn't expecting such a frustrated response from the Gru for a simple comment. He put the coaster down and stared at the Gru vendor. "It was a joke, I promise," he said. Okay, it wasn't really but he had never had the best impression of the Gru. He had to agree with Ry though - he didn't really wanna buy anything here. But something in the Gru's rant struck him as a bit odd. "Adopted...species? Er. Like adopting a pet?" he asked. But considering how pissy the Gru was, he wondered if he was gonna get any response, especially after Ry demanded for a manager. He rubbed his forehead - as a food worker that was one of the most annoying things people asked for. And what was Ry even gonna do, complain for the bad customer service?

Since he didn't catch their conversation and well, he should try to be civil to the guy he'd be living with in the immediate future, he crossed his arms and decided to help him out. Whatever it was. "Someone you're reporting to for your work. A supervisor? ...a...captain...?" He tried to be more polite but, well, he probably realized in the end he sounded a bit condescending but fuck it, weren't most Gru he met in his life like this anyway?

mari Pai

[daekfire]

"Fuck all!" Was her quick answer to the quingee before she had fully moved on.

As she approached the stand she felt herself raising her eyebrows. Really? That was it? "Nobody does it better -" She muttered to herself, she wasn't even sure what that meant. They just looked like something they took to every planet they would visit. Oh - wait, did they mean nowhere did paper better? Why else would they put piles of it together? 
Or maybe not. She really didn't have a solid basis to go off of. The Gru behind the booth did not look like he was having a good time from what she could tell. But did people at these things really have any fun? From what she'd seen people at booths like these had to stay out here for entire shows. She didn't think she'd be buying anything from over here though. All this stuff looked incredibly boring.

"Pretty generic stuff, huh?" She supposed that didn't matter either way - she didn't think people from earth would be too jazzed buying merch like this anyway.

[Pai]

faerst nie
"SEE? This one gets it!" The spherical Gru gestured to Lacy, turning to their winged companion.

"You plebeians just wouldn't understand," the winged Gru retorted, shaking their head. They gestured quickly to Luka, hovering up to smack him on the arm. "YOU SEE? You two just don't appreciate their LUMINESCENCE."

They both backed up, though, giving a look when Lacy challenged why they were even there. They exchanged glances, before seeming to mutter among themselves.

"Man, humans just don't get it."
"They must lack eyes with the complexity to see the fine detail and shimmer."
"The way their eyes sparkle in the light."
"I bet they can't even see their aura."
"Can you imagine being such a simple life form?"
"Such primitive beings, so flawed in their ignorance..."
"I know, I've never been to a planet so... uncivilized."

The third Gru from their group rejoined them then, carrying what appeared to be an entire collection of Yrk-themed cups. Clearly emotional, they cried,

"EARTH IS THE BEST PLANET EVER!!"

They seemed to come in just as Luka had asked on why pre-14 was better, to which they chimed in their own opinion. "I don't know... I rather like Yrk's new look since era 48; they're not nearly as... phosphorescent, in their selflessness, as they used to be, but they seem to be having a lot more fun.."

The spherical Gru gave them a similar look.

"We don't talk about era 48, Bynzbit."


Jintii
"Right, right, you and your short lifespans. No worries, though! Let's see what we've got..."

The masked Gru quickly shimmied its way off to the back of its booth, grabbing at some boxes and digging around and pulling out items here and there. The one it procured to return to Tenor with was a vintage t-shirt; however, it had four arm holes, and the body of it was quite short, and the neck was extremely wide. It had a faded image of Yrk on the front. "Hmm... what size are you? Do you have any extra appendages? Do you need anti-slime or anti-flammable?"


daekfire
"Ohhhh my GRU, you're telling ME!" the Gru sighed, melting further into its chair. "We've NEVER been to a place anywhere NEAR as DULL as this one! I couldn't think of ANY merchandise, you squishy earth kin have NO CULTURE here!" It shook its... whichever part most resembled a head. "They told me to come up with something, but all your tourism brochures talk about is that paper mill! Who even uses paper anymore! I'd only ever read about paper before we came here! It was a relic! You may as well be still carving into stone tablets." A sigh, and it melted further, practically low enough to disappear behind the table. "Want a free one? I don't think I can even give this stuff away. Take some for your friends, too.

[faerst]

"hey, yo, we're right fucking here, dumbasses. We can hear you talking about us," she sneered, narrowing her eyes at the two aliens before them. "Maybe I still wanna enjoy a concert even if I can't see how much someone glows. I have a deficiency. What kind of asshole makes fun of someone with a deficiency, huh? Who are you to belittle me because of something I can't control?"

As the third alien approached, she turned her scowl towards them and proceeded to pull them into this new drama she was starting, "Thank you, I guess someone's gotta like this shit planet. Now can you explain to your friends how to not be inconsiderate little bitches." Lacy's mom would be proud.

She folded her arms and leaned back, shoulders down and leaning on one hip, assuming the dominant posture for cat fights. "Y'know, sweetie, it really helps people a lot more if you'd explain things nicely, instead of gate keeping, don't you think?"

nie

[daekfire]

"No culture?" Sure, she didn't think Printy was the epicentre of culture but there were definitely things that they could have done to make their jobs more interesting. "Did you only look at Printy? Theres plenty of more interesting things like elsewhere." She only felt a little bad for them. But she'd be a right about the paper thing at least.

"You could have used the paper in a way cooler way. You never looked up origami or anything?" She rolled her eyes slightly. Amelia didnt really think that they'd listen to her. So she really didnt know why she was offering any kind of advice. "Or you could have gone historical -" Amelia found herself shaking her head. Even if she'd wanted to take one, she'd have probably soak up all the ink from it. "I think I have enough paper at home."

[nie]

He was definitively not going for the aggressive route Lacy decided to take, though he couldn't help but snigger at her reaction. He looked up to the Grus and shrugged.

"She's not wrong. And what, don't tell me you don't have those Yrk-themed cups where you come from--"

Somehow, Luka felt weirded out. The third Gru approached them and then... and then what? His heartbeat accelerated, an odd sensation invaded his chest; it was almost like he felt such immense joy that he wanted to cry it out. Pain went through his head. All the Gru did was to claim their love for the Earth, it was exaggerated and way over the top, yes, but most Grus he met so far had this odd behavior to them so he wasn't going to blame or question them for this. What the fuck? he asked himself before taking a step back, letting Lacy take the lead. Was it the alien's fault or were the headaches he has been getting lately coming back again?

He exhaled and continued, "Uh, yeah. I was going to ask you, where do you come from again? I completly forgot. Also, tell us what happened in era-48 too. Maybe without the condescending tone?" he feigned a laugh.

faerst